I'm going to wipe my slate clean today. I'm going to change a few things. Starting with this: I think it's very healthy for someone like me to keep a journal. A journal that is public, but a journal none the less. I have far too many thoughts going on during the day to waste it all on my self and my mind only.
I've been listening to quite a bit of softer music lately. Sad, melodic, poetic music. I've also been reading lots of Pablo Neruda poetry. This mixture makes for a very romantic and intimate 20 year old girl. Pablo's poetry is... well, here: " I do no love you, except because I love you. I go from loving, to not loving you. From waiting, to not waiting for you. My heart moves from cold, to fire. " And that is exactly what I am trying to avoid right now. The indecisive and difficult person I seem to have become. Then there is the music. " Long walks in the dark, through woods grown behind the park... I asked God who I'm supposed to be. The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep. I had a dream I could fly from the highest tree... I had a dream. " This might not mean much to the average listener and Priscilla Ahn fan, but to me, it speaks volumes. I've been aimlessly walking around like things cannot change, and they will not change. However, I need to tip-toe around now, take a closer look at why things are the way they are, and how I can begin to fix and mend and bandage.
Follow me...
C
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